bo-hoo

Working in Special Projects has it ups and downs. I was truly blessed when I was called for work (location is everything!). Without further due, I packed by bags andthings, and when back home, without regrets.

Little that I know, working for big bosses or people who are much older and knows a lot about work and the direction that we’re (probably excluding me) going. I feel like a fly caught and sticked on the spider’s web. Yeah. Same feeling. Bohoo. Life at work sucks right about now. I can’t truly say I love my job. Well, at least I’m working (on a decent job to earn $). The feeling of lost-ness and wanting to be truly invinsible, does get into me.

Am I competent enough for this job? Will I be sacked soon enough? Am I (blardy) performing?

Aahh..conflicts. Self-inflicted.

I’m so fuktap.

5 women break their own rules

MSN Lifestyle

I dreamt of being chased

Chase dreams often stem from feelings of anxiety in your walking life. The way we respond to anxiety and pressure in real life is typically manifested as a chase dream. Running is an instinctive response to physical threats in our environment. Often in these dream scenarios, you are being pursued by some attacker, who wants to hurt or possibly kill you. You are running away, hiding, or trying to outwit your pursuer. Chase dreams may represent your way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting the situation, you are running away and avoiding it. Ask yourself who is the one chasing you and you may gain some understanding and insight on the source of your fears and pressure.

The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent a part of yourself. Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can assume the appearance of threatening figure. You may be projecting these feelings onto the unknown chaser. Next time you have a chase dream, turn around and confront your pursuer. Ask them why they are chasing you. 

One may be consumed by their own anger, jealousy, love, or self-destructive behavior. For example, you may be drinking too much or exhibiting open hostility toward others around you. You may subconsciously be threatened by these actions which have been jeopardizing your relationships and/or career. Your dreams are a way of calling attention to these self-destructive actions.

A more direct analysis of chase dreams is the fear of being attacked. Such dreams are more common among women than men, who may feel physically vulnerable in the urban environment. These dreams are inspired by fears of violence and sexual assault in which we are so over-exposed from the media. The violence that the media portrays magnifies our fears and how at risk we all are. 

2 Syawal with my Malibu Dream in CB Ampang

Dear nelissa,
Here is your horoscope
for Wednesday, October 25:

Find the playful side to your spirit. You’ve been doing a lot of heavy lifting at home and on the job; it’s time to do something absolutely silly and totally joyful. Play on the swings. Yodel at the top of your lungs.

I’m actually connected to airzed! God bless Coffee Bean outlet in Ampang and this matsalleh who helped me trying to configure my laptop. Like Frankie said, I did it my way. The whole configuration and stuff. Yeah = )

Raya was fun as usual. The food was great as we had the usual Johor raya dish. Ketupat, rendang, sambal daging, lodeh, sate, kuih kacang and serunding just to name a few. Oh, not forgetting nasi briyani, ayam merah and acar as well. Mmmm..= )

The One thing which separates this raya from any other raya would be, me giving out duit raya to my cousins. Not complaining. Its just that the feeling of giving is..well, nice. I guess. I also received a 10 ringgit duit raya from my relative just because she doesn’t know that I’m working. Heh.

My cousins are doing well. Riza is getting married this December. Iskandar is back for good after 4 years in UK. My sister is doing okay is NZ as well. Rina is coming back this November as well. Abang Azie is getting engaged tomorrow, in Kelantan.

And as for me, I’m just glad to be back home. God bless.

Be good peeps.

@ Work

It’s been a while since I’ve last blog. I am now a Process Engineer/Management Trainee in Kempas Edible Oil working in the Production Department. Six month duration of probation period. Six days of annual leave till December. I’ve taken three days off for Deeparaya..which means I’ve got nine days off from work and I’ll be able to stay at home with my loved ones celebrating Hari Raya.

Working life in KEO hasn’t change me inside. But somehow everything else seems to change with time. Albert Einstein once said and I quote – The only thing which is constant is change. I liked things the way it used to be. I miss those days. Not even three weeks at work and I feel I need to head back home and start my working life all over again. Right/wrong set of mind? Aptitude vs. attitude. I just know where I wanna be right now. God bless.

Raya is in a few days time. It’s fine with me if I don’t have a new set of baju raya. All I ask this year is, that God bless us all. May it all be a great Raya for each and everyone of us. Wherever and whoever you may be.  Amen.

Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin.

 

Here’s to the night

It’s one of those days in the Ramadhan month, where a bunch of friends go out and break fast together. Well, tonight might be the first. We’re heading for Bagan Lalang in a few hours time. Good food, great company..oh what else can I ask for. I could live like this for the next few weeks. Heh. Futsol will be at 10pm. You think I can run and play after that?

Selamat berbuka puasa. Be good.

Be Element

Yeah.

Aroha

I had tauhu bakar for sahur. Mom made that for dinner. I ate the leftovers.

Definately not a person with words with I’m grumpy. Time of the month I suppose. But I’ll be fine. Thank you for being by my side. I’m not that easy to deal with..I suppose. So, good luck with that/me.

Selamat berpuasa.

Ramadhan

Yours truly wrote this on notepad a few days back. Internet connection will be alive for the next few days.

When the first day of the fasting month falls on a Sunday, expect many people to go food-shopping in pasar ramadhans’ as early as 4.30pm. On normal days, i.e weekdays, the place will only be packed and jammed after office hour. I still have the same ol’ pasar ramadhan near my area. Nothing much have changed. Same old aunties and uncles, pak cik and mak cik selling kuih-muih, ikan bakar, nasi kerabu, cendol, ayam golek, tauhu bakar, nasi ayam and not forgetting kuih pelita. First day of the fasting month and I’m not fasting. Heh. And I bought myself nasi kerabu for berbuka. Yeah right. Berbuka. I missed the first day of tarawikh. I have not miss my yearly solat Raya in the same surau, back in kampung, for the past few years, and I plan to keep it up in the years to come. Arwah atok dah takde. Ramadhan and Syawal seems less..fun, when she’s not around. How and who else cooks like her. No one else comes close. Well, its about two hours before berbuka. Selamat menyempurnakan ibadah di bulan yang mulia ini. Amen. Selamat bersahur, berbuka, bertarawikh and selamat beribadat. God bless.

Al-Fatihah. Dari cucu yang merindui Atok.

Hrmmm…

I’m at a cyber cafe in Subang. Pathetic. It’s as if Cheras doesn’t have one. My modem got fried. it’s not a really nice feeling not being able to surf the net as per usual.

It’s the second day of puasa. Break fast was good. I’m still thirsty.